Mail to my therapist - 2

I wrote another mail to my therapist yesterday morning. Obviously they're unavailable to respond. Here's how it goes: 

"I write once again. 

There has been no improvement; there has been a massive decline in my health. I am not eating properly, and I don't feel good. I must have lost a few kilos in the last 20 days. I don't think I can sustain this anymore. I don't see the point. 
I plan to take a train to some random place, switch off my phone and never appear again. I don't know what I will do, how I will live. I don't even know where will I go or if I will ever live again. I just want to disappear, whatever it takes. 

People think this is me seeking attention, they think I have no issues, and I am doing it to gain unnecessary attention, but I hope they will realise how hurtful they were in forcing me to take these steps. I want to be at peace, and I want this pain to end. I can't bear it anymore. 

People told me that I should stop taking antidepressants and instead I should just sit with four people; well, thanks for being dismissive of my struggles. 

Anyway, the idea is not to be there. The idea is not to disturb anyone, not be a burden in everyone's life, including yours. I don't want to be the cause of anyone's worry. 

I am sure no one will notice if I just stop existing in their lives. I hope you will forgive me too. Please ask everyone to forgive me. I tried my best. This is the most I could do. This was my absolute limit. I tried my best. 

Shashank"

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Mail to my therapist - 3

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